Coloured Girl Issues #2

Thursday, February 26, 2015

I can hardly believe that one full year has passed since my blog began. The Mandy Expedition celebrated it's first birthday this month and I could not have done it without you. Thank you for reading, commenting, sharing and caring. In the past year I have been featured in The Argus and The Voice, I've been a guest speaker and a model (but more about that later), and I have been loving every minute of it. 

My latest accomplishment was a bit I did for up and coming online magazine, Cape Town Lately. I wrote a piece entitled "Why I became a Bossiekop" which I am extremely proud of. 
However in the midst of my excitement, for the umpteenth time in my life, the strand of my hair was questioned yet again.

#Bossiekop

Allow me to lament. Majority of my life has been taken over with hair issues ie: washing, setting, drying, detangling, relaxing, straightening, swirling ... every.single.strand had to be in it's rightful place. I fought hard to fit in with the rest of the coloured (mixed race) chicks with styl hare (straight hair). I did not want to be judged for having a natural bossiekop - I needed to camouflage that ish! Mom and my aunts made sure our hair was kept tight and we were proud to rock our chemically imbalanced hair, because we fit in with the norm. 
I have said this before and I will say it again - returning to natural was the single most liberating thing in my life. Freedom pursued. I finally accepted myself for who I truly was, I discovered that I had this beautiful mass of unruly hair that I never knew I owned. I became a bossiekop, a krulkop, a mopkop, a kroeskop. I stand tall, proudly owning each of these names I have previously detested! I lavish in them today. 

This pretty much sums it up for me


However, as previously mentioned, the strand of my hair was questioned yet again. You see, mom has a beautiful head of naturally straight hair, I think she may be a 1c/2a. Dad on the other hand has 4c hair. I am therefore the perfect mixture of my momma and poppa - 3c/4a - mixed chick of note. 
Because of this I was told that I am not really a bossiekop, and my heart wept. Why? For the reason that once again, I was being judged by the hair on my head. The heartache I had previously dealt with came flooding back - only this time, it wasn't the fact that my hair wasn't straight enough, oh no... it was because it wasn't kroes (bushy) enough. Sigh...  
LOVE THYSELF


I've been hearing things like: "Oh you don't really know the pain because your hair can still curl" or " Yes, but you're coloured. You have it easy" ...WHAT the ACTUAL EFF!! 

To those people I'd like to ask one question: What makes your going natural any different from mine? I look at beautiful 4-type natural hair role models like BBK Super natural and I lust over her hair. Like most of you, I long for my hair to look like hers, but I am accepting of what and who I am. Flaws and all. 

Could we please just stop judging one another and appreciate what the Almighty has given us and learn to love and ROCK our fro's no matter how curly, coily or kinky they may be? 
Aaand I thank you. 

Stay Gold, 
Mandy



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4 comments

  1. Couldn't have said it better myself Mandy, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I've also been on the receiving end of similar comments, and honestly all I could do was walk away and carry on loving myself because if I had to wait for acceptance or the 'ok' from others, I would still be waiting.

    Great post <3

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  2. Anonymous26/2/15

    "Allow me to lament"... initially I thought your post would be vaguely interesting, but that comment had me sold! love your article. Allarice

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  3. Being coloured or mixed race in the natural world will always attract some negative comment. It is a double edged sword where we are ascribed to the opinions of others. We are shunned from one end for not upholding the ticky tacky of social norms and on the other end for having it easy. I hope that through repeated teaching and exposure those behind us will be more certain of choosing their own paths instead of following old ideas on shaky ground. The choice to define yourself and express that choice is one of the highest states of freedom. To be who you want to be regardless is powerful. You are an inspiration. I refuse to dim my light so that others will accept me. I am an expression of a considered choice. I refuse to bow down in fear of rejection. I subscribe to respect, and i wish people would understand that we are all entitled to choose our own paths. "...and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Marianne Williamson. You are that light Mandy

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  4. Anonymous7/7/15

    What is 4c hair?

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